England has never won the World Cup: Part II

So, yes, another whimpering disaster for the (ahem) Three Lions. Not since 1973 has a football team been less worthy to wear the famous emblem on its chest. Then it was the misguided belief in Alf Ramsey and his misguided belief in a bunch of players that were way beyond their sell-by date and a smattering of young ‘talent’ – for some reason the name Trevor Cherry keeps springing to mind, but there were a lot of below par players in that squad… Yet, of course, we managed to lay the blame at the feet of ‘a clown’ by the name of Tomeschwski – the Polish goalie who’s unorthodox talents kept the English team from scoring and, ultimately, from qualifying for the 1974 World Cup…

Just as well really, that was the year the Dutch and the Germans came to the fore and real football – modern football as we know it today – was born. Had England qualified, Ramsey would probably have been kept on until 1977 – despite the fact that embarrassment awaited us in Germany in 74.

In Part I, I discussed the fact that England is not as good as we all wish it were… It’s not as good as we hope it would be and, in fact, it’s just not very good. We don’t have the desire, we don’t have the spirit, and, to put it bluntly, we don’t have the players.

What the cure for the English malaise in international football is, I don’t know – I’m not sure anyone knows, but I do have some hope for the English fan.

It started with a haranguing session on the old BBC 606 site just before the last World Cup in 2006. Some Johnny Foreigner (or a joker pretending to be is probably closer the truth) was going around all of the team chat rooms saying ‘England has never won the World Cup and it is unlikely to win it now.’

Needless to say, he left a trail of huffing and puffing Englishmen (me included) questioning his ability to lead a normal life without hospitalisation and extreme chemical support. But his odd argument is now ringing true with me.

“England has never won the World Cup,” he railed. “What you won was the Jules Rimet trophy. The competition was to win it three times and Brazil did that. The England win was – and is – worthless and meaningless.”

Hmm…

On top of that, a few years previously – well, four in fact, before the 2002 World Cup – there was a ‘history of the World Cup’ special on TV, presented by Paul Whitehouse. It was a tongue in cheek affair, and he began by issuing the premise for the programme…

“We’ll begin when the World Cup really started – in 1966. Well, it was just the Worthington Cup before that, wasn’t it?”

Well, Paul, yes and no. It was all a bit Worthington Cup up to 1970, really and that was when the Jules Rimet competition (as I will now call it) ended and football began. 1970 was the cut off. It was when the Germans began their scintillating run of success, the Dutch were about to spring total football on the world, Africa and Asia were on the verge of entering the world stage and the style of athletic, professional and high-energy football we all know and love today was finally emerging.

Why does England go to each World Cup tournament steeped (and stooped) with pressure from fans and media? Because we are fooling ourselves that somehow we are good enough to win the World Cup.

Why do we think we can win the World Cup? Because we have won it before.

So, let’s nip that sprawling sucker down at the roots, eh? Let’s saw the weed of at the top of the roots and inject the roots with a high-powered poison. With that out the way, the ten roses that decorate the three lioins might finally get the chance to breathe and thrive.

England has never won the World Cup – Never. Not ever.

We won the Jules Rimet trophy once, in 1966, but it was all a bit Worthington Cup back then and the aim of the Jules Rimet was to win it three times. Brazil did that, so our solitary win was (and is) pretty meaningless.

It’s nice to win the Worthington Cup (or whatever it is called these days). I’d love to see West Brom win it gain, that’s for certain, but let’s not get carried away with ourselves. The Worthington Cup is NOT the World Cup.

If we can forget about that insignificant little victory, maybe we can start looking at our team with some reality, with some genuine, objective acceptance that we are (certainly at the moment) a bit pants.

God only knows, but if we did that, we might even get the Scottish cheering for us again. Now that WOULD be a victory!