Normal Service has been Resumed

Phew! I was a bit worried there for a moment. I was itching to write something a couple of weeks ago after West Brom’s second 11 beat Manchester City’s second 11 in the Carling Cup, but I thought better of it. After all, we were at home, the top six clubs in the Premier League probably think more about whether they have left the fridge door open than what their game plan is for England’s ‘second cup’.

While it obviously means a lot more than that for the Baggies, it still probably only comes equal to worrying about leaving the gas on before they left home. We were willing to sacrifice the League Cup for having a rested, up-for-it team on the following Saturday to lessen the blow of having to travel to the Emirates stadium and facing an increasingly good-looking Arsenal. If we could keep it down to a two or three goal loss, that would be seen as good going…

It all paid off, of course, as the Mighty WBA strolled out to face the most unresponsive and unimaginative Arsenal anyone has seen for months – even years. Despite that – and despite the antagonistic bewailing from certain, unexpected quarters – West Brom were worthy of their win… Damn it, even a couple of Arsenal supporters I know said we deserved the win. We played well, there was flair and imagination, there was good possession and passing play – it was a thrilling performance for any Baggies (or Spurs) fan.

By the next morning, of course, I was veritably gagging to get something written on my footie blog to accompany the roars of delight from the West Midlands… Fortunately, however, I was able to restrain myself. This was far too good – and far too early – for any crowing.

As I said in the previous blog, while bemoaning the fact that West Brom seemingly never plays outside the form book, these little teams that find themselves in unbelievable positions in the league after a few weeks always slip back to eminently believable positions by the end of the season (I think I cited Hull and Burnley over the past couple of years).

Now, Hull survived (on the last day of the season) two years ago, Burnley went straight back down last season, but both are now battling it out again in the second tier. It’s a state of affairs only too familiar to faithful Baggie fans. Do we hold the record for promotions and relegations between the same two divisions in the space of a decade? (Four promotions and three relegations in eight years is how it stands at present.)

But – and it is a big but – like the Spurs fan who told me that he only starts to relax in a game if Tottenham is four up with four minutes to go and anything else is potential jeopardy, even if West Brom finish in a good, mid-table position this year, I will have the word ‘Ipswich’ bouncing around my head for the summer and for most of next season.

Does anyone remember how George Burley’s version of the Tractor Boys gained promotion to the Prem, played out their skins and won a slot in the UEFA Cup for the next season… And then crumbled to horrifying humiliation and relegation the next season. It was an even worse pickle than Hull got itself into last season.

In between the seasons, top players were snaffled by bigger clubs, an unworthy swagger entered the psyche of the team and it all proved too much for them. They haven’t returned to the top flight since.

Think about it – even if we are able to keep our egos in check (fans and club alike), if West Brom finish the season by punching above their weight, then what chance our keeping the likes of Odemwingie, Morrison, Dorrans, Brunt – even Mulumbu? And more worrying still, what are the odds that we will keep Roberto di Matteo? If he keeps this up, he will have every team in the Prem without a secure manager (and that, by my estimations is about 18 of them) giving him the wink.

No, I think it will take at least two, probably nearer four, good seasons in the top flight before I will start to relax and enjoy being a regular mid-table team…

So, thanks Bolton, for one of the dullest first halves of the season so far and a good solid second half that saw the honours shared – at The Hawthorns. That’s more like it. The fans are struggling to breath the thin air of sixth position – had we won, we would have gone third behind Man U on goal difference. I think we would probably have suffocated.

Six of the best

Oh dear…

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

Actually, I knew before the moment that the Premier League fixtures were announced that my team, West Bromwich Albion, the Mighty Baggies, were in for a rough ride this season. Yes, the opening six games of our fifth season in the top flight in nine years read like a who’s who of top four and top ten teams (Chelsea, Sunderland, Liverpool, Tottenham, Birmingham, Arsenal – with Bolton and Man U following swiftly afterwards), but West brom can hardly have been said to have cruised to promotion last season.

I was worried – even while the World Cup was going on – that we would be fighting so hard to hold on to any decent players we had, that we found ourselves with little time to actually strengthen the squad…

Strengthen? With a 25-player limit?

As it turns out, we held on to everyone except Valero and Koren. The former didn’t want to stay and the latter, for some, as yet unexplained reason, was not wanted. No matter. West Brom did something a little unusual during this close season in that it actually strengthened its team. A few potentially good signings, holding on to Graham Dorrans (non-home-grown, it turns out) and…

That’s when I saw the fixture list for the season.

Now, I must admit, I did find myself wondering something like this during the World Cup and watching England’s abject displays: why can’t we have some luck? Other teams have luck. Other teams win games on bad refereeing decisions. Other teams get Wigan for their opening game of the season. Other teams just ‘click’ and play a game of blinding perfection against vastly superior opposition and win three unexpected points that end up making the difference between relegation and survival. Why doesn’t West Brom?

The team plays good football… all right, that could be down to luck, I suppose. The lovely Tony Mowbray created a team that played ‘The Beautiful Game’ (regardless of the fact that we had no players of any real quality to pull it off) and now, the not so lovely Roberto di Matteo has harnessed that and added a bit of grit and practicality, making us a great team to watch when we are on the ball. It’s attractive in the build up and we can score the occasional goal. But we have to face facts. We are neither as flowing and skilful as the top half dozen teams, nor are we as gritty as the likes of Stoke, Bolton or Blackburn.

So, what have we got? It all looks a bit thin, to be honest. Damn it all, we probably won’t even beat Liverpool this season… In fact, after seeing their first game against Arsenal, I don’t think many will.

You see? A bit of luck. The archetypal yo-yo team times it perfectly to be in the Championship just when Liverpool are at their most shitty for 50 years and miss the opportunity to beat the smug bunch of humourless scallies.

I’d give a win over Wolves to beat Liverpool… Well, a draw, perhaps – let’s not get carried away. But even then – now – with the thoroughly pleasant and decidedly not completely bonkers Roy Hodgson in charge of Mersyside’s scumbags, beating them just wouldn’t be the same.

Not that we’re going to now, of course. They looked like a team of world champion sprinters on the break (except Carragher, of course).

No, the only thing West Brom can hope for over the next few weeks is that the thrashing we took last Saturday from Chelsea (6-0 for those of you living on Mars or in Liverpool).

The phrase ‘six of the best’ has come to be used more frequently of late as a precursor to a list of six really good things. Have we forgotten that it refers to being caned at school?

Well, corporal punishment may not be in our schools any more, but it is certainly alive and well in the Premier League. Let’s hope West Brom can learn the lessons necessary – and quickly – before teacher comes along and gives another half dozen.